I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
