so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
