due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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