I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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