ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i think i just lost a toe
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
