so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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