he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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