well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Come share oat with me in your robe
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
