Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
