Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
