After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
