Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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