Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
