I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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