So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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