I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
