Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
