He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
