He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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