Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
