WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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