i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
