your room smells of hookers.
And success
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
