Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
