P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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