You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
