Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
