i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
