look no pants
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
