it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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