arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
