People with herpes should wear stickers.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
