I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
they need to just BURY HIM!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
