I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
