have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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