he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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