wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
