just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
