so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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