btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we made out on top of his cat.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
