i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
