it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
