I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
