I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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