They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
