the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
