Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
