Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
