I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Come on in and take your pants off
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