She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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